Random Acts of Kindness

Yesterday, I was sitting on the floor of the hall in my daughter's dance studio and came to the conclusion that I am a slow learner. I like to make plans. A lot of plans. My husband doesn't like to make plans. We use a big wall calendar to negotiate our plans. I like to come up with them and he likes the challenge of me trying to get him to agree with the plans. If it is really a big plan, I run the plan by my doctor who has veto power.

The problem isn't that I am not prepared or that I don't execute my plans. The problem is that real life gets in the way. After a morning meeting, I took my daughter to the zoo to meet up with her friend. I was really nauseous. One of the new pills that I am taking three times a day makes me want to throw up on my shoes. It doesn't actually make me throw up so that is the good news. However, you will see me sporting some new Sea Bands. They are these funny things you wear on your wrists that apply pressure to a certain spot that is supposed to make you less nauseous. There is some controversy over whether they really work. I find that I can at least function with them on so I am trying to get over the fact that they are a fashion nightmare. After spending some time at home and resting our head, it was time to take my daughter to dance next. My wise sister advised me to stay home. I didn't listen. For some reason, my head is happy when it can lean against something which is what led to me sitting on the floor waiting for my dancer.

The bad news is that the drug is expected to last three weeks and the nausea isn't getting any better. One of my friends pointed out to me that she thinks I created a problem of people not understanding CF. She is my friend and she is honest. She told me that until a few years ago, you couldn't tell that I had CF if you didn't know me and I didn't really fill you in unless you asked. I spent some time thinking about this and I have to agree with her. I am not at all interested in being known as the girl with CF.

I have been fortunate most of my life that I haven't had to explain it to people. I grew up in a small town where people either knew or someone filled them in. Recently, a friend was worried about her son who had to wear leg braces to school for the first time. She was concerned about how his friends would react and a little suprised when they thought they were cool. It made me think of some of my earliest friends who got to hang out with me while I went to get my meds from the school nurse. As I got older, they had my back and likely still do when I need it.

I also went to a small, liberal arts college where word travels fast. Our college had a huge team for the CF walk so folks knew about it without me having to explain the details. When I later got a job at church during graduate school, people again either figured it out or filled each other in. My husband even knew I had CF before he ever met me. He heard his nephews praying for me before they went to bed. They went to my church in Indiana where I was frequently on the prayer chain. So, I have been blessed with some people in my life who hands down get it to the best of their abilities.

So, what is my point? Well, I should have listened to my sister. I don't really like to say that I can't do something. Nine times out of ten, I will do it anyway. It isn't as much about being stubborn as it is about not letting CF run my life. I am learning that there is a balance and my calendar needs to be a little lighter. Granted almost everything that we like to do is in a few mile radius but I could still do less.

My mom was recently talking with me about my doctor and I realized that he has the long term view. He is the guy who has to deal with me when they close the door in those little rooms. I am a crier. I am not a sad crier but a mad crier. You start talking about needles and options and I will cry. It is automatic because frankly it makes me mad. It shouldn't be such a struggle. So, today I had a fun idea. I read about this lady who completed random acts of kindness for every year of her birthday and asked other folks to the do the same in her honor. As I get ready to celebrate tomorrow, I am asking my blog readers to do a random act of kindness and let me know about your experience. I hope you will find something fun to do in honor of my birthday and in honor of my team's 36 years of good work. They really do have their work cut out for them.

Blessings,

Cindy